Sometimes we make mistakes at work, and they can seem cataclysmic. In reality, some of the mistakes I see are made worse by the attempt to deny or bury the event, rather than take accountability and address the issues uncovered. Even the worst mistakes can produce silver linings (image by Omar Eduardo).
To illustrate my point, here are my five worst mistakes and the lessons learned (in chronological order):
1) When I was 25 I had a boss who wouldn’t let me do anything I wanted. Of course, I knew everything so what was the problem? Geez. Anyway, one day my boss came down on me or pissed me off or something else completely ego deflating, and I flipped out and yelled on her voicemail.
Can you say sepuku? Yeah, it was probation, but rather than fight the good fight, I resigned, knowing my actions were completely inappropriate. Later I made an amends with this boss, and we’ve since done business together.
Lessons learned: 1) My temper always gets the best of me. Do something about it. 2) No matter how comfortable you are with your boss, they are still the boss. Don’t cross the line. 3) Ego… More on the next one.
2) Next job (Oh yeah, don’t quit one job before you have another, doh!), I was promptly put on probation for not saying please and thank you. Great. At this point, I had to acknowledge that my ego was going to kill me wherever I went, so I decided to eat humble pie and stick it out. And I succeeded. I received several increased responsibilities and control of three publications in six months.
Lessons Learned: 1) Being pleasant to work with is half of your job. 2) Ego is the root of almost every bad decision I make. It’s important to always look at my motives and see if fat-head disease is creeping in.
3) At 26 (notice most of these are in my twenties), I got an offer to move to Newport Beach, CA with lots of money and options, and a dot bomb, and a bunch of people who liked talking about the beach instead of real things…
Yeah. I went to get rich, and ended up humbled. A year later I drove back across the country with the computer in the trunk and my clothes on my back. After getting fired during vacation on my cell phone along with the rest of the marketing team three weeks before our options vested. Nice (image by bucaorg).
Lessons Learned: 1) Ego was at play on this one again. I thought I was the man, but in reality too much of my personality was associated with work, and not on a spiritual life and actions, as well as my family. Losing everything to the point that I was sleeping in a friend’s basement off of 12th and Florida for two months taught me a ton. 2) Don’t ever assume you’ll get options until they are vested. 3) Don’t use VC to fund a company. They are f&ck0ng evil.
4) When I was 28, a Red Herring reporter took issue with my client and reported some incorrect facts. It was extremely damaging, and when the reporter refused to take my calls and emailed me an incredibly snide, self-serving justification, I flamed him with a cc to the ENTIRE RED HERRING EDITORIAL STAFF.
The president of my PR Division received a call from said reporter five minutes later. I was told another move like that would cause instant termination. Uh yeah. But Red Herring wrote three nice articles about the client after that :)
Lessons Learned: Temper again. Even justified anger does not warrant severe action. It would have been better to simply call a senior editor and take our case up the ladder.
5) At 32, I had a decent, established job at Widmeyer. I had brought in several nice clients and leads, including the National Scenic Byways Program and the National Law Enforcement Memorial Fund. But along came opportunity vis a vis a former president in a prior job. This time I was promised partnership, the ability to run my own division in a company…
But then I received three unsolicited phone calls from former direct reports of said president warning me not to take the job. When you have that many people telling you something in an unsolicited way, LISTEN! But I didn’t, and I got royally screwed over. Oh yeah, get on that white horse.
Lessons Learned: 1) Ego. Again. 2) Money and balance. Again. 3) I didn’t need anyone to be successful. I could do it on my own, and when things went bad, I did, and here we are now. The ultimate silver lining.
Take Aways
You can see I made a lot of repeat mistakes, often manifested in different situations. Yes, the same situation will keep presenting itself until the lesson is learned (image by Amish Shah). So the sooner you face the music, the better.
The other thing is that we all have personalities. Personalities include good and bad aspects. My worst aspects still re-occur, though on a lesser level, and I am much quicker to rectify them. My temper is still an occasional ankle biter. Ego can still cause me to engage in situations I shouldn’t.
When you have these defects, you can’t kick yourself too hard. It’s better to laugh, learn and clean it up. Only the many religious conceptions of God are perfect, and no one here is God.
The word human and humility both have the same Latin derivative: hum. Both imply good quality and character. I often associate humility with brutal truth about oneself, a gift really, because humility ultimately allows me to be of good quality and character.
Thanks for sharing these personal, hard-earned lessons, Geoff. I need to be reminded of these things myself, and you’ve definitely helped. And hey, look where you are now…kickin some serious as%.
Keep sharing…and have a great weekend!
The saying, “You can’t change what you won’t recognize” is kind of Dr. Phil, but it’s true. One of my running resolutions in life is, “Make only new mistakes.”
What a honest and useful article. Thanks for sharing.
I also loved reading about words human and humility etymology which I did not know earlier.
Have a great weekend!
Geoff, this is great. Thank you for your transparency and sharing with us all. It’s funny how there is a carry-over theme from position to position; just shows we are SO human.
Thanks again!
Jared, Deepa and Amy: We are human, it’s so much easier to be that way if the pressure to always look good is taken away.
Jody: I believe that I am particularly thick. So Dr. Phil would probably cry after he was done with me.
Thanks for sharing these Geoff!
While I understand these are mistakes, I read the list with some admiration for your belief in yourself and your work. I can’t be the only one here who has stayed in a job for longer than I should have or accepted less of a paycheck than I deserved.
I guess what I’m saying is that while you maybe should have responded rather than reacted, there is something to be said for action rather than passivity. Balance is tough, man!
Great post Geoff! I found myself nodding in agreement several times — made a few mistakes myself where ego or pride became my downfall. What’s important about mistakes is that we learn from them or else the lesson is wasted. Luckily, learning is a lifelong event. BTW, the fact that you are able to publish this info shows you’ve learned a thing or two.
Holy Resonating Blog Post!
…just saw the “Dark Knight” trailer and now I’ve got one big Batman crush.
Returning to the topic at hand:
My stomach went in knots from your examples. And since I assume you’re still sitting healthily in your office – alive and well after being so honest – I gotta say ego is the trip up every time.
Years ago, I remember screaming at leaders of the largest Borders Books in the metro area, telling them I was better than them. Screaming.
I’m near puking with humble pie now sharing this but your ability to assert lessons learned, and own past behavior, is strengthening. Later I pulled that Borders GM there at the time aside to apologize. But my ego still was in play; I remember thinking then to myself ‘I am still better’.
So … it’s a journey!
I appreciate your gained perspective for values and ownership sir. Whew it’s a biggie.
Do I win something if I guess all ex-bosses accurately?? (A prize? A warm, fuzzy feeling inside?)
OK, Xiobhan. You get a prize.
Jill, I for one am glad to see someone else share a story like that. It’s rare that people don’t screw up. It’s rarer for them tobe comfortable enough to talk about it.
I really like your blog. I just started one and I talk about a lot of the same stuff. I discuss my pitfalls of going from college to corporate and the many many mistakes I make along the way. There are some things you just have to learn by doing and failing.
Stop by sometime! http://catalysta.wordpress.com! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Excellent post Geoff! I’ve certainly made similar mistakes. I’ll be sharing this one around the office! Cheers
Great post! You’re experiences are quite a bit like looking into a mirror. Ego / vanity will get you every time, and not taking a few moments to just “chill out” is a rapid route towards serious trouble.
I think many of us suffer from the same nature – we’re bright, think we have all the answers and want, sometimes demand, to be taken seriously and have our ideas accepted. When someone goes another direction, you take it personally.
To avoid getting the “fat headed disease” you need to really slow yourself down and swallow some horse-sized patience pills.
Then – one strategy I just started to employ – write down some notes. Vent a little, obviously, to yourself, but learn from the situation as well. If you force yourself to step back and look at the total picture, you often can learn why decisions came about, the personalities involved, and how you might be able to approach a situation differently in the future. Or… if you need a change in scenery.
But one thing is clear – there is no running from yourself, so you had better find a way to be pleasant and hang tough, otherwise, you’ll never really get ahead.
Thank you for remembering that post, Geoff. One of the things I like most about you is that what you see is what you get. It is refreshing to be with you for that reason and for the point of view you bring into the conversation.
The fact that others may not recognize and help develop talent can be a source of frustration – and an emotional trigger. It will be a problem with Millennials, as they prefer more guidance and positive reinforcement. Mentoring is a great way to channel energy and invest what we know with multiple returns by helping others succeed. That often takes care of the edges I have ;-)
Thanks, Michael. I know you and I have a lot in common. I always find that my worst enemy is my head. You are becoming a strong blogger, so I anticipate you will soon deliver this kind of value to everyone.
Valeria: I agree. Millenials have a hard time learning by being told, so experiential development — and tolerance for the mistakes being made — are absolutely necessary.
Fantastic post. I love to see others who live the transparent/authentic web 2.0 (cliche, cliche here) lifestyle.
Seriously, this is the kind of post that gives you “personality” and makes clients/prospects trust you. Well done!
Boy Geoff, I didn’t know you were such an ass when you were younger ;P
Great post, an examination of the past that we all should do (whether we blog it or not).
As to ego– I wouldn’t want to downplay the positives, but rash emotion, anger, and unchecked vanity are certainly things we should all watch for.
Thanks for sharing!
As a graphic designer I’ve had my share of screw-ups including one that was, quite literally, billboard size. But I’ve learned from the mistakes and I think that’s the lesson we all have to take with us.
I set out this weekend looking for a guide to “corporate culture for dummies” (aka advice for not shooting myself in the foot at a great job) and then I came across your blog post. It’s fantastic. Just what this 23-year old needed to hear, from someone I follow with much admiration. Many thanks!
Reading this has made me remember my early days and the trouble I caused by not owning up and saying “I’ve made a mistake” I’ve gone red in the face thinking about it. Hey ho, live and learn